Worst Finale of All Time?
Or just of recent memory?
Not too much time today, but let me just say this about this weekend’s Lost series finale:
First and foremost, those writers have got some mf’ing balls to not even attempt to explain what the island is in the finale. Or in the entire show, for that matter. To give us a show with this much mystery, have it basically all be about The Island, and then to end the show never even giving us a clue about what the island is? That shit is criminal. I’m sure these ahole pompass writers will tell everyone and their mother that they wanted to do it this way, that this is the beauty of the whole thing, but in reality, they’re monkey turds. It is downright assholic to end the show like that, with not even a beginning of an explanation as to what the island actually is, where it is, when it is, anything. Nothing. To do that to your loyal fans for six years, who’ve stuck with you when the show was good years ago and even when it got horrible for the past couple, to do that to us just because you can is, well, assholic.
So no island explanations whatsoever in the finale. And how do they resolve Sideways World? With the equivalent of “it’s all a dream”! It’s unbelievable, really. This was the best plot idea the writers could come up with a couple of years ago? This plot? That Sideways World — you know, that thing that you spent about 15 hours this season revealing to us piece by piece by piece — was actually just a purgatory-type of place, where all the Losties went when they died in the real world. A place that does not exist in time or space, just a place that the Losties “created themselves, together” as Christian Shephard put it at the end, so they could all be together and then “move on” as a group. WTF. I repeat — that was the best plot arc you fucknuts could come up with over the past two years?
I’ll go you one further by the way — the Lost writers were so discombobulated this year that they didn’t even know this was how they were going to end it up. Because don’t even tell me they would have had Juliette mumble to Sawyer just minutes before she died in the season premiere this year that “It worked”, and then never even go on to explain wtf that means. And if Sideways World was not somehow created at all by the bomb going off, then Juliette was totally wrong that it worked, and the whole thing just makes no sense. But they just never explained it, did they? Just left it out there twisting in the wind.
And the last horrifyingly stupid thing the writers did in this finale was end up having Flocke killed by fucking shooting him. With a regular gun. In the back. That’s it. Forget the black smoke — shiat, the closed the black smoke got to making any appearance at all on Sunday night was one of those ghey promos during the breaks — and forget all the week-long, season-long and really to some extent series-long wondering about how one can actually “kill” the body-less black smoke. No need. Instead they just have Desmond big special power mean that he can crawl into the light and remove the stopper — quite anticlimactic in its own right — which then I guess removed Flocke’s powers (hence Jack drawing blood on his ass with a vicious right hook), and then they just kill him, the great evil baddie of the island, with a quick shot to the back, and that’s it.
It’s amazing, really, that the pomp of some people can swell so large that it leads them to try to pull one over on the very viewers who made them what they have become today. Cuse and Littleton (whatevertbefucktheirnamesare) are dead to me, and to millions of other people in this country and around the world from here on out, and I have zero doubt that those two f-heads won’t ever amount to anything ever again in their pathetic little lives. It’s hard for two people to step down harder in a big spot than those two asseaters did this weekend, this season, and really for the past coupe of years. Although in a way the finale was perfectly symbolic of all the problems Lost has had since the powerfully captivating “We have to go back!” scene between Jack and Kate a few years back, ultimately what galls me more than anything else is the fact that the writers literally created an entire construct just for this season that ended up being basically a meaningless, dreamlike “purgatory” where everyone’s dead soul goes when they finally die. Very little effort was made in wrapping up this story for the past couple of years, and after making us invest so much over the years, it’s a move that is as unthinkable as it is a great big “yuck fou” to all the audience over the years. I hope those two producer douchebags who made the first two hours on Sunday night all about themselves really savored the moment, because it’ll be the last we hear from either of them in any positive way for some time.